Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Ramadan 101

or those of you who let the beginning of Ramadan pass without notice, you are most likely unaware of which actions might cause you to break this holy fast. I find this list quite interesting, and I will allow it to speak for itself.

I do question, however, (at the very least) the logic behind number one. How is it that someone could “forget that one is fasting” for long enough to have “sexual intercourse?” It also seems to provide an exception for the involuntary viewing of porn. I find that very confusing and a little troubling.

RAMADAN – What does not break fast
From Madinah Masjid of Carrollton

1. If one forgets that one is fasting and eats, drinks or has sexual intercourse, or has a nocturnal emission while asleep or emits semen involuntarily by looking [at something sex ] (though it is totally haram to see such things)
2. If one applies tincture of iodine or some ointment [even if their tint or smell is noticed in one's saliva or urine].
3. If one vomits a mouthful involuntarily or vomits a little voluntarily.
4. If water goes into ones ear or dust, smoke or a fly goes into one's throat through one's mouth or nose involuntarily or if one cannot prevent the smoke of others cigarettes from going into one's mouth and nose.
5. If after rinsing one's mouth one swallows the wetness remaining in one's mouth together with one's saliva.
6. If one puts some medicine in one's eye or even if one feels its taste in one's throat.
7. If a fasting person swallows his saliva, his fast will not break. Bleeding from an injury in the mouth from taking a tooth out, or blood coming from the stomach to the mouth does not break a fast or an ablution. When one spits out or swallows his blood coming from mouth, if the saliva is greater than the blood, that is if the saliva is yellow in color, his fast is still not broken. If a mouthful comes to the mouth and goes out of the mouth, both are broken. It is seen that, when a tooth is extracted if there is much bleeding, the fast is not broken when one spits it out. When one is not fasting, one's ablution is not broken when one swallows it. Neither of the two is broken if the blood is less than the amount of saliva.
8. Using antimony (surma) or cosmetics for one's beard, moustaches, face, smelling flowers, musks or Lotions will not break one's fast.

Friday, September 22, 2006

A Proposition for Venezuela

Dear Venezuela:

We will trade you one Dick Armitage for one Hugo Chavez. The way I see it, you like leaders that hate the United States and want to do it harm. Who has revealed the identities of more CIA agents and done even further damage to our reputation in the Middle East, Dick or Hugo?

Hugo’s rant got way more press than Dick’s assorted blunders ever do, so obviously we’re just more interested in the relatively harmless words of a Latin American leader than the actually harmful words of Dubya’s advisors.

We know that Hugo left the United States very shortly after delivering his tirade, but please let him know that he is more than welcome to return. We will gladly send you our Dick in return.

We think that would be an even exchange.


Puppies, rainbows, and kittens,

The United States

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I want to be a civil rights leader when I die

In case you were able to go all day without hearing the news and shedding a tear or “pouring some liquor,” yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of the death of Tupac Amaru Shakur. I found out from the hub of all hip hop news—NPR. What shocked me about NPR’s coverage of this “story,” was the airtime that they gave Tupac’s mother and the others involved in the Tupac Amaru Shakur Foundation for the Arts and other charities set up in his name.

You should have heard her talk about her son. About the 9 foot tall bronze statue of Tupac (in a three piece suit and cross necklace, or “Jesus chain”) that stands in the middle of the Foundation’s expansive grounds. About how complex, conflicted, and misunderstood her son was. About how NPR had to play snippets of the same song four or five times because the rest of his songs were ripe with foul language or explicit topics. Oh wait. That last one wasn’t mentioned.

What really riled me up was how everyone seems to have forgotten what he was actually all about. In ridiculously sharp contrast to the comparisons to Malcolm X and MLK Jr. that several people affiliated with his Foundation were making, Tupac was obsessed with the violent gang culture that eventually did him in. Anyone who has seen the 2 hour VH1 Behind the Music about the whole east coast/west coast rap wars will remember the footage of Tupac grinning widely while brandishing a fistful of cash under the watchful eye of Suge Knight. I think that his mother is guilty of misunderstanding who her son was and what it is he represents.

I am not putting Tupac down here. I just want his legacy to accurately reflect who he was. I listened to him quite a bit during college and readily admit that he was a talented guy. Nobody before or since has looked as tough as Tupac while wearing a denim vest. After all, I modeled my own “Thug Life” tattoo after his. My beef here is the comparisons with Malcolm and MLK. His mother even spoke about her hopes to coordinate the efforts of the Foundation with Nelson Mandela’s work.

As soon as that happens, I’m going to suggest to Bill Gates that we merge our fortunes and coordinate our philanthropic activities.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the end of segregation in the Mansfield ISD. To hear people like Tupac being, as one NPR pundit put it, “repurposed” for this generation, I fear that those of us who weren’t around to hear MLK speak or ride a bus across town to a school in a different neighborhood, will cease to appreciate what kind of person it actually takes to motivate people to do good and bring about positive change. Let’s listen to Tupac’s music, but not follow in his footsteps.

Tupac and MLK were both killed by guns—Tupac because of his violent lifestyle, MLK because of his resistance to hatred. There’s no need to “repurpose” someone like Tupac when there are so many good people out there to follow.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Hear me out now...

I have driven (or ridden) over 2000 miles in the last 10 days. The two road trips that racked up all of these miles were taken with two of my favorite people on earth--each of whom enjoys music (almost) as much as I do. Needless to say, we had plenty of quality time to listen to lots of good music along the way.
I generally listen primarily to the music (as opposed to the words) when listening to a particular song. I've been known to comment on the "guitar work" or "monster bass player" on a given track. It's what I do. On these trips, however, I was given (ample) time to really appreciate the lyrical quality of some of the music right now. (Songs reminding us how to spell B-A-N-A-N-A-S are not included in this group)

Take, for example, Death Cab for Cutie's "I'll Follow You into the Dark:"

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decideThat they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Wow.
Am I crazy, or is the quality of Ben Gibbard's lyrics up there with anything anyone has ever been assigned to read in high school? Perhaps it is the pathos of the lyrics when it is put to music, but something about these words just gets to me. And I am not even dealing with the loss of a romantic parnter.
Though not at quite the same level, let me also propose for consideration, Jason Mraz' "Life is Wonderful:"
It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying
It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction
La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la
It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other
It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished
Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la
It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is oh love
Ah la la la la la la love is all sorts of
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is holla holla
Ah la la la la la la next up bushwalla-walla
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la