Where are all of the self-loathing Protestants?

I often hear people say things like “I went to Catholic school….which makes me an ex-Catholic.” The feeling that one’s exit from the Catholic Church was brought about, justified, and perhaps made inevitable simply by the fact that he or she was brought up in the Catholic tradition, seems to be fairly commonplace. Obviously, not everybody who grows up Catholic leaves the fold, but it seems as though those that do leave are able to treat their departure with a great deal of levity, often using it as an intro to a funny quip about nuns or a comment about naughty priests. As someone who grew up in a Protestant church (read: Baptist), I am not generally afforded that luxury. It could very well be a product of the circles in which I run, but my non-participation in church is not something that I can mention in passing. Someone would say something or give me a look of.....judgment is definitely not the correct term here.....concern, that's it. People would look overly concerned with my decision not to participate in church. I do not underestimate the portion of the Bible-belt in which I live. I reside in the heart of Dubya-land. I went to college 20 minutes from the Western Whitehouse, and now live about 7 miles from the house he left when he sobered up, got a job, and moved to Austin. This is conservative country. Of the 8 of us that were inseparable in high school, 3 are full-time, globe-trotting missionaries. I find this remarkable. The 5 remaining friends are in varying stages of backsliding (anything short of being a missionary is considered backsliding). Clearly, I failed to live up to some pretty high standards.

Perhaps the main reason that there is a community of non-participatory Catholics, and not a Protestant equivalent, is that Catholicism requires less of its adherents. It is not unusual for devout Protestants to be present in church every time the door is open. This is a sign of a faithful believer. You feel obligated to show up on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, and host or attend a Bible study sometime during the week. It’s just what you do.
Catholicism doesn’t seem to work that way. I have never been Catholic, so I welcome any correction this thesis, but it seems as though only the super-devout do more than attend Mass occasionally. One can, in good faith (no pun, really), call oneself a good Catholic and only attend Mass on Easter and Christmas. Protestants who attempt this subject themselves to “Easter-Christian” specific proselytizing.

My question then, is where is the Diaspora of former Protestants? Are we so frightened by the prospect of being outed and redeemed that we keep our mouths shut? Or is the fact that we left the church such a private and personal thing that we feel as though it is nobody’s business.

I’m not a stand-up comedian, or any kind of comedian for that matter. If I were, however, I suppose that I wouldn’t really feel comfortable airing my deepest personal convictions to a bunch of strangers.
I suppose that people have been leaving the Catholic church for hundreds of years longer than people have been leaving Protestant pews. It’s just a little odd since we Protestants started this whole “leaving” thing.

I hate to admit it, but I guess we all let Martin Luther down.