Clever Like a FOX

FOX interrupted the Simpsons this weekend with a flashy promotional piece for their fancy Tuesday primetime lineup. They wanted to make sure that I knew that both Standoff and House would be all new this week. What was interesting about this particular promo piece, however, was the intermittent interjection of the comforting phrase, “you’re never alone.”
At first, this struck me as odd coming from a television network. But then I realized that this was precisely the sentiment that the network hoped to convey to its viewership.

What FOX really wants to instill in you is the following:

Rest assured. If you find yourself being held hostage by some maniac in the greater Los Angeles area, Ron Livingston (of Sex & the City fame) and Emily Lehman (of Standoff fame) will briefly put aside their inconvenient and awkward love affair to save your life, and will do so in just under 60 minutes (including commercials).

Or, if you’re a hypochondriac:

Don’t worry. If you find yourself afflicted by some random disease, a drug-addled Hugh Laurie (of Blackadder fame) will refuse to dress like an actual doctor while gladly spraying you with some experimental medicine. He will then immediately pinpoint the super-rare ailment that is currently afflicting you. The he’ll take more drugs while confidently wielding his cane.

Essentially, fat America (I include myself in this slam) can breathe a sigh of relief because Rupert Murdoch’s designer-clad problem-solvers are on the case.

The bigger question, I think, is how much do we, the American TV-watching public, look to television for comfort and friendship. Now, I understand that this should be a question relegated to absurdity, but honest observation will, I think, prove otherwise.

Take FRIENDS, for example. I know of several people who, by the end of the 10 season run, felt a sincere connection with the six characters. These people are not social degenerates or chronic introverts who look exclusively to NBC for their social interaction. Since FRIENDS was universally popular, it could easily be used to relate other FRIENDS viewers. Now, don’t think that by talking about “these people” in a distant third person that I am putting them down in any way. I have shows that I relate to and enjoy, too. I pride myself for having developed a keen “Seinfeldian” outlook on life, and tend look down on those who are not as highly evolved.

So, in case you find yourself lost (I know, I like that phrase, too), all I have illustrated thus far is that people a) watch TV, b) they like it, and c) they talk about it after they see it. As irrelevant and useless as this might seem, you’re right.

Irrelevant, that is, until you meet someone whose sole means for interaction with other human beings seems to be whatever they happened to have watched on television the night before.* Granted, TV is often entertaining and sometimes interesting. I watch a lot of it. But one has to be aware of how often one’s conversation starts with “Oh my god. You should have seen it. Last night on…..”

I think that FOX ultimately wants to remind people that they “are not alone” because they hope to be that one thing that stands between the public and absolute loneliness.

“I know I’m not out with friends right now, but I am by no means alone. I mean look, Ron Livingston is right here in my living room. I can’t wait to tell everyone at work all about it. They’ll be so interested.”

*Yes. I still have a short-term memory. I do recall writing something about a “Seinfeldian” outlook on life. I maintain that this outlook was formed over years of observation and conversation with fellow Seinfeldians. I think that my outlook on life would have developed just as well without Seinfeld, just perhaps not as rapidly or acutely. It’s kind of like those people who followed the Grateful Dead around the country. Just because Jerry Garcia formed a band and took a liking to pot didn’t automatically cause all of those people to adopt an affection for tie-dyed clothing and Winnebagos. They were already willing and able. They just needed a namesake.*